Have you ever found it hard to forgive someone?  I know without a doubt that I have.  I took a job at an apartment complex under one of those managers that has a high turnover rate--if you know what I mean.  I came to resent him very much and forgiveness--it seemed--was not an option.

Tonight the Bible study my mom and brother attend met at our house.  We watched a short video segment on forgiveness.  I wondered, "Why is it that we so often find it difficult, even seemingly impossible, to forgive?"

I think a couple of things come to mind, at least for me.  Firstly, when I forgive, I often do so because the offense isn't really that great.  If someone cusses me out, I'm not offended because to me it just shows how immature they are.  If someone cuts me off in traffic, most of the time I contain myself.  But I often get a little aggetated because I think, "Just who does that person think they are?"  They have violated my priveledge to be curtius and let them pass if they signal and obey the rules of the road.  But by and large the offenses I forgive so easily are just little things that don't really matter--not to me, anyway.

Second, if I forgive it almost seems like I'm enabling them to continue the wrong behaviour.  I end up wanting them to experience immediate retribution for the crime committed.  I want them to pay the penalty so that they will be discouraged from doing it again.  I want them to apologize and learn from their error.  There seems to be a kernel of goodness to this, doesn't there: A wish for them to live a better life and live in harmony with their fellow human beings--to learn the value of humbly apologizing and receiving forgiveness and learning to never repeat the behaviour--or at least be making visible, attainable moves to correcting the problem.

Third, I think that for me not forgiving is a practical expression of not appreciating what Christ has done for me.  You see, God doesn't just forgive willy-nilly.  Someone still has to pay the price for the wrongs we do.  And that person was Christ Jesus himself.  It's like God took out all his anger and wrath on himself.  And when I choose to hold someone's sin against them, it is like saying to God, "I expect you to forgive me for my 'little slights and blunders' [we call them], but don't expect me to forgive so-and-so for what he/she did to me!"  We then reveal two things: We don't understand what we have done that is so bad in God's eyes and we don't really quite grasp the depths of the cross of Christ.

So sometimes forgiveness takes time.  I know with me, I've gotten past the whole, "I wish I'd never met this person" phase.  Now we are on good terms.  He isn't one of my pals or anything, but at least we can still greet one another and I don't feel disgusted in my spirit.  Of course, I still wish all that happened hadn't.

But I'm sure sometimes God wishes the same thing regarding Eden and all that followed.  He proves, though, doesn't he, one can bear scars for eternity and still love those who caused them.